A few months ago, I had what I guess you could call a near-death experience. When I realized I might not be returning to life on planet earth, I had a crystal clear realization about my life. In an instant I was aware that I had chosen to come to earth to complete two significant tasks. Behind these choices I felt a deep commitment to my purpose and I knew I was not ready to leave. I wanted desperately to complete my missions.
When I opened my eyes, I was lying in bed with my arms around my husband, breathing, seeing, smelling, hearing - my body and mind fully present and alive. I was still here. Though shaken and deeply moved by the experience, I was relieved to know I was still in my human form - still had the opportunity to do what I came here to do.
Since then, I have gone through personal moments of resistance and denial in which I did little to nothing to shape my life in the direction of my purpose. Somehow, I thought I could go on just like before, assuming these chosen tasks would somehow happen on their own. It took me a while to realize that taking responsibility for creating my destiny was, at least in significant part, what the journey was all about.
Such profound experiences as near-death simply cannot be denied. The awakened knowledge about my purpose continued to tap on my conscious awareness until I finally surrendered to the greater plan. Surrendering meant commiting to my purpose, asking for help, noticing who Spirit sent to me - fully receiving their help and advice - and finally putting the knowledge that would guide me toward my purpose into application.
Funny, the awareness of my missions had been there all along, but clouded by all the talents I had and choices availalbe to me. I kept waiting for some unknown something to help me identify my purpose and motivate me enough to fully embrace it. Frequently, I thougth I knew my purpose, only to discover it was part of my journey, but not the purpose itself. Occassionally, I actually commited to some aspect of my chosen missions and moved toward them. Now, I affirm my purpose each and every day - the completion of one task and then the other.
With great joy and a full heart, I am now slipping into what I call the golden path that is uniquely mine. It was always there. And today, I notice more of the gifts that are there to assit me in achieving my heart's deepest desire - my destiny.
If for some reason, I am not able to fulfill these chosen tasks, I can be at peace because I have chosen to live each day dedicated to their completion. And if indeed the journey is more important than the destination - well, I'm on the journey I dreamed into being.