Monday, June 19, 2006

How do you know when help is the right help?

Last time we were together, we talked about a creative response for when we get stuck in our journey. We looked at the benefit of chilling out for a bit, and allowing insights that help us understand our next step come from outside sources–like friends.

Today, I invite you to explore this question with me. How do you know when help is the right help?

It is great to get help.......and sometimes the help we receive just doesn't cut it........and then sometimes it is a prayer being answered.

This month, I would really like to hear what you have to say about this! I have ideas on just about everything, but truthfully, I'm far more interested in hearing about how you discern between help that is right and help that should be tabled for someone else or another day.

You never know, your insight may be the exact insight someone needs to further their soul purpose jouney!

Monday, March 27, 2006

Is it possible that sometimes someone else knows your next step?

In all the counseling I have done, frequently my client finally confesses they have no idea what the next step needs to be? Here they are dilligently working on fulfilling their purpose as they know it, and they come to a place where they are stuck. Ever happen to you?

It happens to all of us. Sometimes if I ask a few well-considered questions, my client pops out of the fog and realizes exactly what he or she needs to do. There are other times where questions just are prying any significant awareness loose. In those moments, I often suggest that perhaps the next step is coming from someone else.

Have yo ever had that experience? You've put in hours and hours of brain power, but you just can't quite figure out what you need to do to get from A to C. You are having lunch with a friend and neither of you is focusing on business necessarily, and out of your freind's mouth comes a suggestion that makes you stare, then blink, then smile and finally say, "That's it. That is what I need to do next!"

As an organizational consultant, I knew when the group was stuck, one of the best things to do was to take a break–take a break from trying to figure out the answer. When we let go and clear our minds, we are like an blank movie screen. At any moment something could flash on the screen and the scene rolls on from there.

Ideas come from everywhere–friends, competitors, magazines, entertainment, research, novels.......all we really have to do is quiet our minds and welcome the surprise answer!

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Among All the Things We Can Do, How Do We Recognize Our Soul Purpose?

A group of Native elders from many different traditions were around me. They were explaining to me a fundamental responsibility of elderhood that was practiced among a number of the Native American tribes, but is commonly a foreign concept to Caucasions. They told me that people living in their tribes didn't ever worry about what their purpose might be or how they might fulfill it. People simply did what they loved or needed to do as members of their community.

It wasn't up to an individual to figure out their purpose. That responsibility was in the hands of the elders. In their wisdom, and using their intuitive guidance, if they saw that it was time for someone to fulfill their purpose, they simply told the individual, "This is it. You need to do this." It seemed this directive was often predicated by an event or happening that made someone's purpose clear and apparent to the elders.

As a result people didn't waste time worrying. They enjoyed their lives, trusting the fulfillment of their purpose would be pointed out to them at the right time. If they needed the guidance it would be there for them when they needed it.

This encounter was a dream I had several weeks ago. " Wow!" I woke up thinking. "What a simple way to recognize your Soul Purpose!"

And then I wondered how many hours I have wasted wondering if this or that was my purpose, or if this or that activity best fulfilled my purpose. Arghhh. What if I had just had some trustworthy elders to tell me, "Misa we know you are really intrigued with this stuff over here and it seems as though it will fulfill your life, but look over here. This is where it is really at!"

I'm committed now to suggesting to young men and women that they spend less time fretting and more time building relationships with elders they can trust. That wealth of intuiton and wisdom is very useful in keeping the rest of us on track. How do we recognize our Soul Purpose? Maybe we don't have to.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

When Do We Need to Let Go of Controlling Our Destiny?

Since the concept of non-attachment has stimulated some interesting conversations, I thought I would share just a few more insights about the practice of non-attachment that might help you as you live and create your Soul Purpose.

I remember when I first heard about this concept, I thought it meant I would be limited in how close I could get to people. I thought it meant you didn't own a house or a car or anything. It seemed to imply I could never want something or someone. Somehow, I remember thinking a person would have to be a monk to be able to really live in a non-attached way.

Somehow, I started to get a deeper meaning. I can't remember if I read an inspiring article or heard someone give a talk about it, but the whole idea became a lot more enticing, and now I consider it to be a great practice to live every day.

Non-attachment is really the art of trust. It is about not clinging to how, when, who, or where I think things ought to be. Sure, I can want. I can even make plans. I can put forth effort in what I am creating. Provided I allow enough room for new creativity and insight the plan and dream unfolds itself into something I couldn't have imagined. But if I am too attached to the details I kill the dream as I attempt to control it too much.

I used to do this in relationship. I fell in love and then did everything I could think of to turn my partner into what I wanted him to be. That is a practice in attachment. Eventually, I learned I could fall in love and simply let someone be who they are. Then I had to make a conscious decision about whether or not I could live that person. If I couldn't I had to be courageous enough to say goodbye. Difficult - you bet. Wise - oh yes.

It was much kinder to myself and my significant other to simply tell him early on that while I was in love, but didn't think we could live together, than to wait until I had manipulated the heck out of this person's life and then become angry because he just didn't love me enough to change. The reality was our destinies didn't sync up and I was trying to force the issue.

As I developed a sense of non-attachement, (and believe me this was a long, committed process of slowly loosening one finger at a time on my stronghold of control) life became much sweeter. I learned to watch objectively, while I enjoyed the unique person I was falling in love with. I learned to simply notice if I could really live with this person just as he was.

When the answer to my wondering was, "Yes, I love him and I can live with him-allof him as he is" I knew I had found a great match.

Instead of focusing on who he had to be, (He must be the one because I'm so in love and I can't imagine living life without him.) I focused on what I wanted to experience in relationship and let us find each other. I certainly had to say,"No," a few times as I was getting clearer on what a great relationship needed to look and feel like. And by allowing the dream to continue to unfold in its own beauty and perfection, I attracted a great guy that I love to be with and life with him is fun!

Do you see how this could apply to fulfilling your purpose? If you have it planned so tightly that there isn't any room for who you really are and what you truly need (that may be beyond your immediate view), you'll get close, but you will miss the mark.

You can literally fall into where, when, with whom, or how things need to be if you nurture the dream itself, rather than forcus on controlling the details. As you see, sense and feel your desire to create the dream, the dream itself grows stronger and begins to attract what you really, truly need.

In essence, non-attachment allows room for the magic-the kind of magic that keeps the process of self-fulfillment fun, exciting and on-the-mark with people who can easily walk with you in the same basic direction.