Monday, November 26, 2007

Creating Your Reality With Anticipation and Gratitude

One my greatest lessons about the power of anticipation and gratitude in creating reality came from a five year old girl.

We had just finished a ceremony and everyone was in the house gathered around a table full of delicious potluck foods. Most of us had finished the main course, including a darling little five year old girl, and were eying the desserts. I saw the girl secretively ask her mom a question to which her mom whispered back. A moment later, this little girl was standing in front of me with eyes as big as saucers, full of anticipation.

"Misa can I have a piece of cake?" she asked, looking at an untouched, luscious chocolate cake on the table.

She was asking with complete hope that I was going to say, "Yes."

I said a quiet prayer of hope that she could eat wheat and sugar, because it would have broken my heart to tell her, "No." I had to assume her mother would have intervened if that had been the case.

"Yes, you may!" I said with delight, matching her own enthusiasm.

"Oh, thank you!" she exclaimed and threw her arms around me giving a big, grateful hug.

What I learned from this little one is that enthusiastic anticipation is irresistible. And enthusiastic gratitude is a fun reward. With all of her hope, trust and excitement, I would have given her as much as she wanted and more, provided it was good for her. From her, I learned that creating is meant to be fun! As a result of her lesson, I now ask with joy and certainty when I am already quite sure my request will be granted and is good for me. Then I give thanks with a full and cheerful heart.

What the five year old girl taught me is what children seem to know naturally—enthusiastic anticipation and gratitude is hard to resist!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Are You Seeing The Greatest Gift You Have to Offer?

I recently facilitated a weekend of women's circles in Oregon. One of the women who attended all the circles came away with the following observation. Though her reflection was based on her observations at a woman's event, I believe many men will also see the truth of her words for you as well.

One thing many women have in common is that we tend to overlook those gifts that come naturally to us, thinking it must be all-too-common when, in fact, each gift is entirely unique to us and we must learn to recognize and honor it. Only then are we able to bring it forward with the value appropriate to the gift itself so that others may recognize and benefit from its true nature ... and ultimately to awaken to their own true nature ... —Susan Gold

Particularly if your greatest gifts are intuitive and supernatural in nature, you may have the most challenging time recognizing your gift and knowing how to utilize it in the world. Add to the challenge a history in which you might have been told as a child that your intuitive, supernatural gifts weren't real or that you couldn't make money with them, and your motivation to foster and share your gifts might have been squelched at a young age.

And yet, your unrecognized, forgotten or suppressed gift may very well be at the essence of your truest work. The flowering of your being occurs when you recognize, honor and use the greatest gifts you have.

Periodically, I do Life Path Readings for people because my gift is an ability to see other people's gifts. For some people, their gift is such a part of their life, they don't realize they have a unique talent. They think their gift is normal for everyone. If no one has pointed out it is a rare gift, how would they know?

The people around you may be one of the best sources for understanding your greatest gifts. Isn't it true that sometimes others see us better than we see ourselves? Consider asking your friends to share their insights with you about your unique talents. Then, as Susan suggests, bring it forward with the value appropriate to the gift itself so that others may recognize and benefit from its true nature.

Burning Through Obstacles

Have you ever heard, felt or seen an inner call to do something and then found yourself saying, "But I don't have the money, time or qualifications?" Have you ever watched that calling linger in the back of your mind, while never really getting to live it?

There is a reason our personal callings sometimes never manifest. The reason is that we spend too much time hung up in what we don't have to do it. Certainly, the challenges are very real and are not mean to be ignored. They need to be addressed if we are truly going to bring our calling into life.

However, we can burn through that state of stuckness with one simple change of perspective. Instead of dwelling on the challenges, imagine going from, "I hear my calling" to "I will." "I hear it and I will do it."

Now address those challenges. Since you have made your commitment with your agreement of "I will do it," the challenges must be addressed differently. You may notice yourself asking, "Hm, I said I would do it, so how do I create the money?" "How do I create the time?" "How do I become qualified?"

Do you see how such a subtle shift makes such a huge difference in burning through the obstacles? Now you are in creative mode. Now you are looking for solutions rather than dwelling on the limits of the challenge.

You will find yourself moving very quickly from the calling to becoming that which you have called yourself to be. And isn't that ultimately what you want? To move through obstacles try following these three steps:

I hear my calling
I will do it
I am that which I called myself to be

By addressing the challenges after "I will," you will accelerate your ability to live your true purpose sooner than later

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

The Importance of Being

Recently, I read something in Robert Kiyosaki's book, Cash Flow Quadrant, that stood out for me as being a very significant part of creating the reality we want. He was talking about a seminar presenter who wrote three words up on the board, be, do, have. She suggested that many of us do things to attempt to prove to others that we have more than we actually do have. Or there are those of us who do more in order to try to get more.

It was her opinion that these strategies rarely work, because first we need to truly be what we are creating. Other authors such as Lynn Grabhorn who wrote Excuse Me Your Life is Waiting, suggests we need to feel the reality we are creating before it will become real.

I see a lot of common ground between feeling and being. I know there is substantial truth in both of these author's premises when it comes to energy healing. In order to actually heal myself of anything, I know I have to feel and experience it first. I have to literally become the belief I am creating. Then, I make choices from my knowingness, rather than from hopeful attempts. There is a power in this that is unfaltering.

Recently, I spent some time with a friend who has made millions of dollars. I asked her about the significance of being the freedom, fun and joy you hope to experience when you make a lot of money. She affirmed that indeed feeling it is the key to creating the means that simply furthers those feelings.

I liked this reminder about be, do, have. I'm going to be practicing this a lot more in my own life. I appreciated my friends reminder to feel the freedom and joy of financial abundance. Having been an actress in a "former life" I know this can take some inner convincing, but I'm up to the challenge. How about you?

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

How Many People Are You Here to Touch?

As I shared with you a few articles ago, I was quite touched hearing Dr. Barbara De Angeles speak. One of the concepts she shared was an acknowledgment that each of us may be here to bring our gifts to a certain number of people. Some of us are here to positively touch the lives of a few, other are here to touch many.

I found myself deeply respecting her for recognizing that not all of us are here to be best-selling authors, or renowned speakers, or famous Nobel prize winners. Indeed, there are those of us who are here to fulfill our purposes through those means, but not all. We can be incredible, life giving people without being famous.

That might not be the most popular message, but I hear truth in it. What if your purpose is to raise well the incredible child that has come through you? What if your purpose is to bring healing massages to overstressed, overworked people, who need to find greater peace through your loving touch? What if you came here to help people integrate into their new homeland by teaching English as a second language?

Service is the great act of love—the great calling. If you know what you have come here to do and you do it well, and you feel fulfilled and happy in your service—what a great life!

Who are you here to touch? What gifts did you come here to share with them? Are you here to reach many with a light touch or are you here to touch a few deeply? Are you here to be of service to 10, 100, 1000 or a million?

More importantly, are you calling them to you, are you reaching out to them? Do you recognize them when you meet them? Do you look past them as you seek for someone more important? Are you trying to help people who don't even want your help?

When you quiet the ego and listen deeply inside, do you know the number of people you are here to touch? Do you know who you are here to touch?

The Power of Alignment

Have you ever had one of those days when everything seemed to be going wrong? It starts in the morning getting up late, your car not starting easily, problems at work, dinner know, one of those days?

And then, have you ever had one of those days when everything seemed to be going right? You feel great when you wake up, you are in love with everybody, you make a bunch of money, you have a great dinner with some friends......the kind of day you want to have every day.

What makes the difference between a bad day and a good day?


Here is the deal. If you are experiencing inner conflict, that is what is reflected in your outer world. If you are experiencing inner harmony, that is what you are going to experience. If you are a great writer, but you spend your days doing a job you don't like and are not writing at all, and resent the fact you are not writing, your inner conflict is going to show in your mood and the interactions you have with others and the physical world.

However, lets say you are a great organizational planner and you spend time every day engaged in some form of organizational planning—even if it is volunteer work—you are going to be in alignment. You are going to be happier and this inner enjoyment is going to show in your mood and in a natural expression of confidence. Your happiness and natural confidence guide you in your choices, attracting like-minded, like-hearted people into your world.

So how do you know whether or not you are in alignment? By how you feel. If you feel bad, you are not in alignment and you have changes that need to be made. If you feel great, you are in alignment. Now is a good time to invite others to "play" with you.

Over simplistic? Perhaps. But even in my worst depression, there was a strong element of truth in this formula. When I felt my worst, there were changes I wasn't making. I needed help to get to the root of my depression, heal the pain and get to those life affirming changes that put me in alignment with my happiness.

The lesson? Alignment with happiness leads to the fulfilling your soul purpose.

Are We Ever Really Confused?

Last weekend I attended a Women's Business Empowerment Summit in Scottsdale, Arizona. There were many fantastic speakers, but the thoughts of a couple of speakers really stood out for me. Dr. Fern Kazlow and Dr. Barbara De Angelis talked about the importance of alignment. Both of them reminded us that when we are in alignment with what is right for us, the world reflects back to us the power of our alignment.

When we are aligned, we experience less struggle. We attract who and what we need. We make choices that are fully in keeping with our purpose. When we are in alignment, we are not confused.

In fact, Dr. De Angelis took this further, suggesting we are never really confused. We know exactly what we want and what is right for us. However, in our fear, we debate it. The longer we stay in the debate, the longer we don't have to do anything. In essence she was qualifying confusion as an excuse.

I heard the truth in her observation. In my own life, I have discovered I either know or I don't know. If I don't know what I need to do, I find it is best to simply give thanks for the insight or information I am going to receive to give me direction. Then I go on with the work in front of me, paying attention to the insight when it comes.

When I know what to do, and I'm feeling fearful about it, one of the best ways through the fear is to begin taking action. And if the task ahead of me is really new, a good mentor or coach will help me identify the root of my fear, identify a method for overcoming the fear and hold me accountable to take action.

So are we ever really confused? I don't know the answer for everyone, but I do think it is a great question to ask when we are feeling confused. "Am I really confused or am I afraid?"

Monday, July 23, 2007

Using Rites of Passage to Help Catapult Your Work

If the last article intrigued you, and you would like to discover ways to use Rites of Passage Ceremonies to help you gain greater clarity and momentum in fulfilling your purpose, I suggest you check out our SpiritQuest Sharing blog.

Either go to the SpiritQuest link on this web-page or type this URL into your browser.

You'll read some stories about people who have experienced the power of ceremony in helping to gain clarity, focus, inspiration, and support to be your complete and magnificent authentic self.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Bringing Spiritual Practice into Business

My husband and just returned from a fabulous week at SpiritQuest in the mountains of Sugarite Canyon New Mexico. This year, we included a rites of passage initiation for women becoming recognized as elders in a beautiful Native American ceremony. The women spent three days in silent meditation as they listened deeply for the three goals they would commit to completing before they die.

As each woman came to the sacred fire to share her meditative discoveries about those goals, I noticed each woman seemed to be very much aware that her three goals were powerful expressions of her soul purpose — with some goals known to each woman before she began her meditation and others being new to her awareness. Some were goals that had been lingering in the background of a woman's consciousness for years, and were now being brought to the forefront of her awareness.

In every case, I listened with a sense of pride as I realized how significant the fulfillment of those goals would be in making a difference in this world. For most of the women, the spiritual heart beating within them would become a stronger part of their expression in the business world.

I'm not saying they would now be preaching religious beliefs in the workplace. I'm speaking to the sense of serenity, purpose and heart they will carry with them in their business transaction.

Having coached many individuals who struggle at various times with being true to their spiritual beliefs while making their way in the business world, I appreciate the sense of clarity and compassion these women now have, as well as the challenges they may face as they integrate their authentic selves into a world that has all too often perpetuated deception and self-serving agendas.

Recognizing the challenges of this journey, in August I'll be offering a Spiritual Leadership in Business tele-program for people who want support and want to meet other like-hearted individuals choosing to be conscious in business. If women and men are willing to make such profound commitments to making a difference, then they deserve profound support. E-mail me at

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Spiritual Practice Through Work

Over the past few weeks, we have been periodically exploring the concept of career ministry in Our Spiritual Leadership Training Program. Now, let me be clear, we are not talking about converting people in the workplace. And we were not talking about being career ministers.

We were actually exploring something more akin to the Hindu practice of Karma Yoga where you recognize that every act is an act of sacred service. We discussed recognizing that everything we do to or for another also effects us. And everything we do can, if we choose to practice this concept, become an expression of Divine intention.

One of the women in the class is having a difficult time in her current job. She is finding it difficult to keep objective perspective or remain in her center, because she constantly feels pulled by the drama around her. By applying the concept of using her job as a place to put her own spiritual beliefs into practice, she is beginning to see how she can remain in a more compassionate and objectives space as the drama around her continues.

This may or may not be the best job for her. However, being able to shift her focus and engage her job as an opportunity rather than a curse, she is freeing herself from what felt like an oppressive situation, and engaging her spiritual practice through her work.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Intuiton Leads the Way

In my previous life as a human relations consultant for businesses, I discovered something that at the time was rarely discussed in business application—the importance of following your intuition.

I remember chatting with my dear friend and mentor one evening about how bizarre business plans seemed to me for start-up businesses. "It's a big guess based on some data you drum up to support your premise," was how I described a first year plan.

I pointed out a nationally franchised ice cream business as we walked by, resisting the temptation to step inside for a sweet bite or two. Standing in front of its door I said, "When they got started there would have been very little data to support the financial viability of an ice cream chain, because they introduced the concept. I'm betting, the founder simply had a strong hunch it would work and convinced other investors it would work. Furthermore, I bet they only began to get strong figures for their business plan after they had been up and running for at least 3 years."

A seasoned veteran of business consulting, he confirmed my hypothesis, explaining to me he knew the founder and knew my conjectures to be true. In that moment, my mentor affirmed what I deeply believed about the balance of intuition and thoughtful planning—if we allow our intuition to come through it leads the way to our greatest success and fulfillment. The real journey is in trusting our intuition and following it. Good plans support intuitive wisdom, bringing inner knowledge into physical reality.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Free to Live Life to the Fullest

This beautiful story came from my friend Jade Wah'oo, a powerful spiritual teacher. I thought you might enjoy hearing the end of the story....

So, upon a pyramid built of mud, in a land where the average rainfall does not even exist (as it never rains, and yet here were 25 square kilometers of mud-made pyramids... hmmmm) I sat. I sat atop the pyramid and pondered the life and existence of these peoples who had lived here before this time.

And I placed myself and my life in reference to them. We know not one thing of their conflicts, nor of the choices any given individual faced in making the right choice for their own happiness and peace of mind. Nor did we know the assessments and judgments that their fellow cultural members made upon them.

And this is what I realized, the epiphany that forever has changed my life:

No one remembers. And in a hundred years no one will remember Jade Wah'oo. Let alone in a thousand years. Given this, why should I let anyone else's opinion about my life and my choices have any bearing upon me whatsoever? There is no standard of cultural determination that is consistent, in our era nor throughout the history of humanity. The only determiner of my choice is my own conscience that guides me true each and every moment of each and every day.

No one else, regardless of their status or posture or righteousness, has one iota of significance for my life and how it is that I live it! And if we can no longer remember these ancient peoples and the choices they made, why should I let anyone stop me from being the fullest living expression of my Spirit's purpose, or limit my experience of life in the slightest?

I walked down from that pyramid free, and have since set forth upon the path of my own liberated enjoyment of life lived to its fullest.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Ghandi's Lesson About Talent and Constructive Action

Gandhi taught that each individual has talent, which they either acquire
or inherit. However, each person believes this talent is their own to do
with as he or she pleases.

Gandhi felt we do not own this talent, but rather are trustees of the talent. Thus, the talent must be shared for the good of society.

This means more than just giving away things, which is merely action out of pity. Activity out of compassion is different in it that it requires us to stop what we are doing and find out about another.

It requires us to find out why the situation exists and to aid in a way that helps that person use his or her talent to change the situation. This requires a sacrifice of time to get to know the person and to find ways together with them to solve the problem.

Mr. Arun Gandhi shared these and other lesson at the SGI-USA Santa Monica
Community Center in December 1998.

M.K. Gandhi Institute for Nonviolence
see listing in the resource section

or go to

Monday, April 09, 2007

Out of Overwhelm

Have you ever had one of those days when the whole world seemed to be piling in on you? You look at your to-do list and decide life would be easier to-do-not. I have noticed when these kind of moments occur, I'm usually feeling crowded out. So instead of getting anything done, I often go on strike. If I'm feeling particularly feisty, I push myself into forging on ahead, which gets some work done, but the quality of work in those instances is rarely very good.

It took me a while to figure out the feeling of being crowded out is significant and needs to be addressed before any really good work is going to come out of me.

When I start feeling overwhelmed, it is a good indicator I need a break. I don't need to run away from the stockpile I have created, I just need to refresh and rejuvenate myself. I need some healthy stimulation, like some exercise, a walk outdoors, a few minutes with a good book, to sing a long with a couple of favorite songs, or sit down and meditate for a bit. I need to make sure I take care of me first before I continue taking care of the rest of the world.

Sure, bringing my purpose into fruition, attending to my career, cleaning the house, buying groceries, washing the car....all that stuff ultimately takes care of me. And every now and then my soul needs to be fed along with my mind, emotions and physical body. I just need to nurture my passion for life. That's when it is time for a little soul food.

Once adequately nourished, all systems are go and the strike is over. I have no need to push or shove myself into working either. My energy level is good and now I'm ready to take a look at what most needs my attention.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

When Looking for Inspiration Becomes an Escape

My associates and I were having one of those really deep, insightful conversations about our own work habits and the ways we have historically sabotaged our progress. The wonderful thing about working with people you trust is that together you can help each other change ineffective habits into more effective ones.

Since we all help people eliminate blocks in order to create more meaningful, fulfilling lives for themselves, we were aware of our own tendency as well as a tendency among some of our clients to seek inspiration when action is required.

Sometimes the next step we need to take is down-right scary, so one way we avoid getting to that step, while tricking ourselves into believing we are still on track with our work, is to continuously seek more inspiration. Subconsciously, we may be trying to convince ourselves that with just the right inspiration we will then have the courage to do what we know needs to be done.

It is brilliant because on the surface it looks as though we are continuing to educate ourselves and prepare. So we convince ourselves and everyone around us that we are making progress—all the while the step needing to be taken to generate real progress is being avoided. What a way to escape taking right action!

Because my associates and I are aware of this tendency, we help each other by remaining action focused. Oh, we love inspiration, and indeed there are times when we need it. However, gathering lots of inspiration without taking action is a clue that we are avoiding our next step.

We have discovered the best inspiration comes when we sit down with our other associates and address the fear that is keeping us from taking the next step. With their support and encouragement, we are soon focused on solutions, and preparatory action tasks that get us ready for the next step.

With all that energy behind us, it is difficult to chump out. And when we do take that step, we know we can count on our associates to celebrate with us the real achievement of overcoming our fear.

Monday, March 19, 2007

One Prayer for Your Life.

I was getting ready for a ceremony that was to take place in a few days. I was listening to the instructions of my elder when she said, "And this is when you will offer your life prayer."

My hands were getting sweaty and my blood pressure was going up and I wasn't even sure I understood what she was telling me. "What is a life prayer?" I asked.

"That is a prayer of commitment for your life's work," she replied.

"Ok," I thought, "I was right. She really means for my whole life."

Considering I had no idea at that time what I was here to do, I had no idea what commitment I was willing to make for my entire life. I don't make those kind of commitments lightly, and now I was being asked to to make such a commitment in ceremony.

I suppose I could have told her I wasn't ready to do this, but the truth was I wanted to know. So I spent days just contemplating quietly what commitment I could offer my life to. I thought about all kinds of options, but I was waiting for that feeling telling me this is it—this is my life's expression.

I decided to simply wait for the moment and allow it to come from deep within me. When I finally said the prayer, it was so obvious, profound, and it was a pure and an authentic expression of who I am.

That single prayer brought tremendous focus to my life. When I'm confused about what I need to be doing, I reflect on that prayer. The details of who, what, where, when and how I fulfill that prayer have proven to be much less important than keeping my vision firmly fixed on the intention of that prayer. I have discovered that one prayer for your whole life is a lot to live up to.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Playing It Safe

Have you ever thought, "Maybe I shouldn't go so far out on a limb. Maybe people will be turned off by what I think and what I have to offer. Maybe my purpose is my own journey and doesn't have anything to do with anyone else."

Have you ever listened as your self talk convinced yourself to play it safe, when deep, deep down inside you just wanted to be authentically you doing your true life's work?

A dear friend and client recently came to me torn between doing the same old coaching work she has always done, playing it very corporate and very safe, or going out on a limb to do the kind of coaching she really wants to do with passion and fresh perspectives. She figured she might lose some of her clients if she showed up with more of her edgier approaches, which include a dash of spiritual view-point.

I suggested she might actually attract more clients. In fact, she might even attract clients she would enjoy more—clients with whom she might make a greater impact. She could see the truth in what I was suggesting, but the fear of rejection was still looming.

"Listen," I finally said, "you aren't here on earth to help everyone. You are here to serve those who want to be served by someone who sees life the way you do. And there are plenty of people out there who want to do business from their own spiritual integrity. They are the ones who will appreciate you. The rest will simply need to find another coach."

I know this fear so well. Being authentic is challenging work. I don't know anyone who is fond of rejection, and yet the more we define our true voice in the world, the more likely it will be that someone isn't going to like our point of view.

The biggest benefit in staying true to our authentic view of the world in our service to others is that we meet people and help people who are on the same wave-length with us. That makes life a heck of lot more fun, satisfying and fulfilling.

When it comes to our life purpose, playing it safe, is more like playing it stuck. Playing with honesty and passion, true to ourselves—now that's a way to enjoy our purpose.

Friday, March 09, 2007

Transcending Doubt with Truth

Isn't it amazing how your doubt can seem bigger and more real than your desire?

I have been fascinated by my ability over the years to put more credibility in my fear than in my hopes and dreams. It has been so easy to see my shortcomings and far more challenging to recognize my abilities.

What I discovered I needed to rattle me out of my doubt was a big dose of truth.

Recently, I had a client who was sharing how immobilized she felt in her career by a man in the industry who seemed like a threat to her. She was concerned this man would sabotage her efforts. We carefully dissected the threat only to discover her fear wasn't founded in the actual events of the here and now. Her fear was coming from this man's daunting similarities to her oppressive father, who has been deceased for some time.

Once she was able to look at where her fear was really coming from, she was able to make some business decisions with confidence, freeing herself from her temporary paralysis.

It has been my experience that behind doubt lurks fear, and fear is often based in something that happened some time ago, or something that could possibly happen in the future but hasn't happened yet.

When you pause long enough to look at what is really happening in the moment–the current truth of the situation–you are better able to discover the actual source of the fear. When you know the source, you know what to change.

In my client's case, she decided to move forward with her best plans, affirming she would receive full and complete support in her endeavors. She decided to reduce her fear of sabotage in these ways:

1) Acknowledge the truth that while her father did have authority over her, this man does not.
2) Affirm with feeling each day that she only attracts people who support her work.
3) Whenever she feels her doubt or fear creeping in, she will stop what she is doing and affirm a supportive reality until she feels calm and secure.

The moment you stop listening to the doubt and uncover the truth, you are preparing your way to manifesting your desires.

Next: Playing It Safe

Monday, March 05, 2007

Transcending Doubt

A dear friend and mentor once explained to me every time you doubt yourself and linger in that doubt, you set yourself back several steps. "Imagine," she said, "you are playing a baseball game. You are making great progress as you stand on third base, ready to slide home. The batter hits the ball and you start running but you doubt you can make it. Your doubt will become your reality. In life, it might mean you are set back to second or first base, but you will now have to make up the distance your doubt created."

Here is the nagging reality. It is really easy to doubt. At some point, in any act of creation, you are probably going to wonder if you are on the right path, cut out to do this, capable, or truly worthy. Your fears grab hold of you and there you are sliding backwards.

Many of us try to ignore our doubts. This usually proves to be unfruitful at best and down-right dangerous at worst. Fears that aren't addressed tend to rule your life. They lead you toward failure and you wind up wondering why your plans aren't working and your dreams aren't coming to fruition. Yet, have you noticed identifying and addressing your own fears can be very difficult to do?

This is one of the reasons people acquire coaches, therapists, counselors, and consultants. Sometimes it is wise to get help so you can get to the core doubt keeping you from success and address it with new perspectives and insights.

Associates you trust can also provide great assistance in helping you identify the fears and doubts holding you back. Once clearly identified, a doubt is often easier to reverse than you might imagine. The initial key is in accurately recognizing the limiting belief and the intense feeling accompanying the belief.

You can also get to limiting beliefs by questioning yourself about your limits. I have discovered I have to keep asking myself challenging questions until I feel the tears welling up inside of me. When I have gotten to that point, I am usually sitting on the edge of my fear. Another question or two beyond that point is frequently at the core. I have learned to feel it, uncomfortable as it might be, until there is a release or catharsis. At that moment, I am ready for a new belief or perspective.

Next: Replacing Doubt With Truth

Friday, March 02, 2007

Feeling the Healing, Becoming the New You

Whether you are creating healing, wealth, right relationship, meaningful careers, or fulfilling your soul purpose, you have to be able to feel what you are creating in order to experience it.

A good friend of mine recently tripled her income in one month. We were talking about how she did it, and she said she believed the trick was in keeping a clear focus while keeping her energy up. We explored this further and I came to understand that "keeping her energy up" meant feeling her success.

Of course, there were times when her doubts and challenges created interference between her belief she would succeed and the feeling she would succeed. I remember a few phone calls when she was feeling down and unsure about her ability to create her dream. Immediately, we got her attention on something she could do to help her get her energy back up.

Like my friend, you may find you need a boost from time to time. You might restore your energy by getting some time out on the Mother Earth, taking a much needed break, offering a prayer or chanting an affirmation. Some of you are restored through exercise and others by giving yourself a meaningful task to accomplish in the direction of our desire. And you might find expressing your creativity is an excellent means for getting yourself energized again.

Doing what works for you to keep your energy level up–feeling your success–is a key in being in the creative flow. The need for clear focus and feeling yourself well are definitely significant in healing yourself from illness or depression.

One of my teachers taught me if I could visualize the injured part, see it completely well and sing to that wellness for 10 seconds, the injury would be healed. Ten seconds sounds like nothing at all, doesn't it. Try it. Try to keep your focus clear and energized for 10 seconds. It takes exceptional skill to do this. No wonder creating in life can be so challenging.

Yet, this is the art of spiritual practice in healing and fulfilling your soul purpose.

Next: Transcending Doubt

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

When You Think You Can't Forgive Yourself or Others

The women in the circle were doing some very deep work, honestly telling their darkest stories of shame and emotional pain. Each woman spoke from the depths of her being, bringing up into the light old wounds needing to be understood–needing to be loved.

Although the telling and the listening was intense work, each woman could feel pounds of oppression lifting off her body as she discovered compassion for the life she had lived.

When it was my turn to speak, I found myself sobbing for a little girl who had been robbed of her innocence. As I told my story, I realized how my whole adult life had been affected by the trauma of my childhood. My own heart opened to her and as it opened to the frightened little girl living inside me, it concurrently opened to the wounded adult who was still afraid of life.

Finally, I could honestly forgive myself for the ways I had hurt others, the successes I had never accomplished, and the limits I had always placed on myself. Today I understood that pain, unhealed, creates more pain. Now, that I could feel compassion for myself I knew I didn't have to keep repeating the pattern that created the pain. I could create happiness out of the depths of my former despair.

What I wondered was whether I could forgive my parents for the difficult life they had exposed me to. With this thought on my mind, I joined some of the women of the circle outside while we took a break.

Two of the women were smoking cigarettes together. Their faces were drawn and haggard. They shared information with each other about the physical illnesses they were experiencing, which were numerous and overwhelming from my perspective.

Earlier during the day, in circle, these two women had courageously admitted to abusing their children. They spoke about their deep guilt and shame, and the tremendous anguish they felt knowing how badly they had treated their children.

As I observed these women during our break, my heart opened up to them. I looked at their physical bodies, considered their horrific illnesses and realized subconsciously they must be beating themselves up in shame. They were, perhaps, inflicting upon themselves greater punishment than anyone outside of them might sentenced them with.

They were as wounded as I was. Very likely someone had hurt them and in their pain they hurt their children. Just like I was seeing my part in the cycle, so were they. The abuser and the abused–all the same person. I offered a little prayer for their comfort and remembered my parents. They too had probably been abused, abused me, and now I could stop the cycle because I understood. In my compassion for myself, these women, and my parents, forgiveness wasn't even necessary. All that was needed was what I felt–love for us all.

Next: Feeling the Healing; Becoming the New You

Monday, February 26, 2007

How Blame Limits Our Healing Ability

Someone once posed a couple of intriguing questions to me that got me to look at my entire life in a whole new way. The question was, "What if you had some say, before you got to earth, about who your family would be? How would that influence your view about your childhood and your life?"

My first thought was, "No way. I didn't choose this dysfunctional family." But those are the kind of questions that haunt you until you at least try them on for size. Otherwise, given my beliefs at the time, I was going to have to assume God was either cruel or crazy, or I had to assume God believed I could transform a stressful childhood into a great adulthood for some greater good I couldn't quite imagine yet.

If I did choose this life, I must have had a good reason and I wondered what the heck that might be. Otherwise, I figured my soul was hanging out in some far-out bar and I had just smoked some very wild stuff, when a recruiter came around asking for volunteers for tough earth assignments. I might as well see if I could understand a good reason for the difficult childhood I experienced.

So, I imagined my soul was existing in some comfortable setting and I was writing my case argument for my life on earth. I explained why I was choosing these parents, at this time period, in this city. I argued for parents of their political persuasion, religious views, income level, social perspectives, personal challenges and personal strengths.

I explained how I would use the adversities and gifts of this childhood to learn, develop compassion and eventually develop myself into a better human being.

When I finished, I was in shock! I no longer had a single reason for blaming my parents for any of their inadequacies as humans or as parents. I didn't have a reason to blame God or myself. All I had left was the naked realization of my ability to take a difficult, painful beginning and use it to turn myself into a realized human being.

Next: When You Think You Can't Forgive Yourself or Others

When the Wounded Places Inside You Need Love

Judith Duerk, a very powerful facilitator of women's circles once described our wounded selves like sieves. She suggested that over time the vessel we are becomes punched full of holes, a metaphor for wounds. Then, as we receive love, we are too wounded, too full of holes to be able to hold that love. In order to hold love, we first need to seal the holes–heal the wounds.

Whenever I am wanting more love, but not feeling it, I now know it is time to check on the holes in my sieve to see if I'm not able to feel and hold the love because of some wound in me that is leaking love away.

It takes courage to look at a wound. And it takes compassion to heal it. The greater the compassion, the greater the healing. Often, my own wound has scared me so much, I was only willing to take a cursory look at it or I opted to avoid dealing with it at all.

Once I sat down and stayed with the wound long enough to understand it–to really, deeply understand it at its core, I found it really wasn't as frightening an experience as I had imagined it would be. I also discovered as soon as I understood, my compassion rose up in me immediately and the process of healing at my core began.

With persistence, my sieve became a solid vessel once again, and only now and then do I find a new hole that needs my compassion.

Next: How Blame Limits Our Healing Ability

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Getting to Core Beliefs Can Accelerate Your Healing

Some years ago my hormones were so far out of balance I was producing as much testosterone as a boy in puberty. Intuitively, I knew I needed to understand and heal the reason my female body was becoming male, seemingly on its own and without my conscious permission.

I began listening to urgings from my silent meditations to embrace yet more stillness and less activity in my life. In a process of getting quiet and listening with compassion to my thoughts and feelings, I uncovered and healed the abuse that caused me to break-faith with being feminine.

Along with talk therapy, good hormone therapy, some deep emotional processing, and the support of skilled healers from several disciplines, I finally brought my body into balance.

The same has been true for my clients. Those who address the emotional content behind the physical illness tend to heal more rapidly and with lasting results.

When someone tells me no physical treatment they have tried is making any long-term
difference, I recommend they consult their emotions. Buried feelings of emotional pain are often blocking even the most aggressive healing treatments.

Next: When the Wounded Places Inside You Need Love

Monday, February 12, 2007

What Does It Mean to Take Control of Your Healing?

For a long time, I thought taking control of my healing meant going to the doctor. Certainly, that can be a significant step in taking control; however, there is a deeper layer of responsibility in healing that your doctor can't get to. Only you can get to it.

More than once someone has come to me looking for a miracle cure. They are tired of being sick and want to get on with fulfilling their life purpose, or at least more meaningful work. This is certainly understandable.

There have been many times, in my own journey, I just wished someone would take out a magic wand and cure me. I had so many goals I would be accomplishing if I just felt better. It is very difficult to even think about creating prosperity, engaging in a new career, or attracting the love of your life when you don’t feel well. I’m not at all surprised when someone comes looking to me for a fast answer.

Yet, whenever someone thinks someone else needs to fix them and they are not active participants in their own healing, I know we won’t get very far because creating lasting healing happens from the inside out.

The true healing happens between the person choosing to be healed and his or her own relationship with the Divine power that dwells within them. The healing journey is each person’s opportunity to discover the life-giving, creative force of the Divine living within their own consciousness and apply that creative force to their wellness.

Healing is a practice of dedication and self-love, because getting to the root cause–the source (which is often an emotional issue and belief) of the condition is necessary for full and complete recovery. New belief systems and patterns of behavior need to be deeply anchored in both your subconscious and conscious mind if healing transformation is going to last.

In many cases, healing is not just about making the physical body feel better. Most often, taking real control lies in the willingness to get to the belief that allowed or caused the illness to begin with.

Next: Getting to core beliefs to accelerate healing

Friday, February 09, 2007

How Can Creativity Help Us Heal? – Part II

Healing often consumes us. Learning how to get well and eliminate the pain can feel like and often is a full-time job. While we might not feel up to creating immense financial abundance, taking on big projects or stepping fully into our life purpose, exercising our creativity can provide us with inspiration to continue healing.

Some years ago, a friend of mine was suffering from a condition that created chronic pain for her. Each day, she put significant energy into healing and feeling good. However, pain has a way of constantly tapping you on the shoulder like an unforgiving friend.

She needed a way to get her mind off the pain–a place where she could become so absorbed she could forget about her challenges for a while. Knowing her talents I suggested something she could create with her hands. In no time, her hands were moving, her mind was occupied, and for moments she was enjoying life without pain.

As she began to feel better, my friend actually began selling the crafts she made at house parties and on-line. Her home-based business provided her with something to take her mind off the pain, be of service to others, and supplement her income.

Creativity inspired her healing process in multiple ways.

Next: The Powerful Effects of Taking Responsibility

Thursday, February 08, 2007

How Can Creativity Help Us Heal? – Part I

There I was sitting on my couch with a sketch pad and a box of crayons. I drew something that seemed really stupid so I ripped it out and threw it away. I had no idea what to draw after that so I didn't draw anything.

I was tense and agitated, so I got up and started cleaning my apartment. In the depths of my depression, I found cleaning the house, without being anal about it, was good therapy for me. As I cleaned thoughts and feeling drifted in and out of me. I had learned to let them drift. But every now and then, one of them lingered–usually some painful feeling about the past. That day, one of those feelings grabbed my attention.

Deep sorrow was welling up seemingly out of no where. As tears filled my eyes, I walked over to the pad and crayons. I coached myself not to think. "Just draw whatever comes without judgment," I told myself.

Amidst the tears, I drew child-like images, most without any readily apparent meaning. When finished, I felt relieved. After taking a couple of deep breaths, I put on my coat and went out for a walk. Walks helped me clear my mind and emotions.

When I returned home I took a good look at the images. I knew they were basically representations of feelings–feelings I believed I had known well all my life. I wrote words next to the images and noted how my emotions had shifted from anxious to peaceful in my process of drawing.

There was no anxiety in my stomach now. There was no tension in my shoulders. My agitated feelings were gone, replaced by serenity. Whatever needed to be felt, had been felt and had passed through me, leaving my body relaxed, feeling healthy and energetic. Imagine all that from a sketch pad and crayons.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Can Spending Time With Mother Earth Help Us Heal – Part II?

When I was in my deepest despair, my heaviest state of depression, I would frequently find a quiet park or forest and walk and walk and walk. Periodically, I sobbed, pounded my fist on the ground, laughed, talked to myself, and breathed in the scent of the trees until my heart found some relief from its pain.

Then I would sit or stand still while I contemplated a stream or admired the clouds passing by me. I would lift up the head of a flower and drink in its sweet scent. Sometimes, I pulled off my shoes and waded in the water or wandered about on soft grass. I loved to watch the squirrels, imitate bird sounds, crunch up dead leaves in my hands or just feel the wind on my face. Standing in the sun was like getting my battery recharged.

After releasing the burdens of my heart, I found solace in Mother Earth. In her my appreciation for and vigor in life was renewed. And I could go on again for another day. It is my understanding the Cherokee call this The Natural Way. The Natural, it seems, is when we are in harmony with all living things.

By giving myself permission to release and then to rest in harmony with Mother Earth I restored my equilibrium in life. In the Natural Way I found peace. That peace was such a relief to me, I spent more and more time outdoors with Mother Earth. The more time I spent, the more I healed my aching heart until eventually it no longer ached at all.

Next: How does creativity help us heal?

Monday, February 05, 2007

Can Spending Time With Mother Earth Help Us Heal?

Black Elk, a powerful Sioux medicine man is known to have given a mattress to someone seeking healing, then telling them to begin their healing process by spending several days resting and sleeping under a tree.

More than once, I have had a client come to me for sound healing, and I have asked them, "How often do you get out on the Mother Earth?"

Most often the answer is, "Rarely."

It is a common misunderstanding that earth is a thing we live on to be used to serve our needs. Earth is as alive as we are and we are living in symbiotic relationship with her. When we lose touch with that awareness, we begin living on top of her instead of with her.

When this happens we lose touch with our natural rhythms. Symptoms of being out of sync with natural, circadian cycles (our natural needs for periodic pauses, breaks, and adequate rest) include stress, physical tension, emotional frustration, depression.....and all of these contribute to ongoing illness.

I remember being so tense at one point in my life, that I would get angry with anyone who suggested I needed a break. I was getting more and more tense and increasingly ill, but I was addicted to feeling needed and kept on pushing. I was avoiding my feelings and fears by over-working, all the while spending less time in a natural, normal, peaceful rhythm, while becoming increasingly depressed and physically sick.

Next: Ways to connect with Mother Earth for greater healing.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Why Don't We Heal–Part II? Intuitive Listening

More than once I have received insight about healing my body through my dreams and meditations. Some time ago I learned to ask my body what was going on with it and what it needed for healing. Then I got still, listened and watched.

The key to getting the response is in not forcing it or trying to listen, but rather in allowing the awareness to come on its own in its own time.

For example, I was going through a period of time when my intestines were bothering me, so in my morning meditation I asked my body what was going on. That night a had a dream about a large worm. The next morning, I called a holistic doctor and got started on some detoxing to expel worms from my body.

When my hormones were so far out of balance (as much testosterone as a boy in puberty), I began listening to urgings from my silent meditations to embrace yet more stillness and less activity in my life. In a process of getting quiet and listening deeply to my thoughts and feelings, I uncovered and healed the abuse that caused me to break-faith with being feminine. Along with talk therapy and good hormone therapy I finally brought my body into balance.

By truly listening, I have discovered, we can uncover the true core of our illnesses so that we can treat both the physical and emotional root cause.

Next: How can spending time with Mother Earth can promote healing?

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Why Don't We Heal–Part II? Listening

Having lunch with a friend and wife of a physican, I shared with her the story about how deeply I was touched by the doctor who really listened to me. As she smiled, she said, "My husband has told me that patients give clear pictures about what is really going on with them. He realized a long time ago all he had to do was listen to them carefully."

I have discovered, the same holds true for you and me when it comes to healing ourselves. Have you ever had that inner sense something was wrong with your body and just ignored it? Have you ever found yourself so busy you didn't even slow down enough to really pay attention to how you are feeling? Have you ever waited until you were sick in bed to get help? I have–too many times.

How often do we just stop to pay attention to the symptoms we have been experiencing? How often do we pause to listen to the inner voice telling us to take our vitamins, get more sleep, or put in a few less hours at work? Do we schedule appointments with preventative health professionals like massage therapists or accupuncturists? It took me years to figure out I needed to stop and pay attention the minute my body started talking to me.

And what about the words we use? He is a pain in the neck. My job gives me a headache. My body isn't keeping up with me. That thought makes me sick to my stomach. This is flu season, I always end up in bed for a week this time of the year. How often are we describing an illness or even creating the potential for one through our thoughts?

Getting still and quiet enough to notice, caring enough to seriously consider those intuitive notions, and even listening to our own words, can help us recognize what is going on with our bodies so that we can respond effectively.

Next: The art of intuitive listening and health

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Why Don't We Heal?

Lately, I have received more than one e-mail from people I know who are telling me nothing is helping them heal–neither conventional or alternative medicine.

As someone who spent years searching for a healing answer to a debilitating illness, I can honestly relate to the profound sense of frustration you experience when you are trying to heal and nothing is really changing. I don't believe I have ever felt more helpless than when I couldn't even get control of my own healing.

However, that eventually changed and it began with an answer to a prayer from a friend. I had called my friend to skip out on a shopping trip because I felt terrible and, at age 29, my face was broken out with pimples. Fortunately, she talked me into going–to cheer me up–and I couldn't let down a friend.

In the car, she asked me many personal questions about my health and then recommended an endocrinologist. "I explored that," I told her, "and no one even wanted to see me."

"He will. I'm sure of it," she responded. A few weeks later, I was in his office. He was a very thorough doctor and what impressed me most is that he took time to really listen to me as I described every single symptom.

After running a few tests, he explained to me at my next appointment I was producing as much testosterone as a male in puberty. Wow! I was not expecting that!

I found myself driving home from my appointments with tears streaming down my cheeks, not because I was afraid we would fail or relieved we would succeed, but because someone had truly listened to me.

Next: How can you use listening to help heal yourself?

Saturday, January 27, 2007

How Do You Know When the Advice is Right?

Knowing when the advice we are receiving is the right advice can be very challenging. I find I have two reactions. Often my first reaction is absolute rebellion. All my reasons and excuses come to the forefront of my mind. That is a great indicator that the advice I am receiving is probably the advice I need. The rebellion is the manifestation of the resistance I've been holding on to all along, and resistance is often based in fear not wisdom.

When I sit quietly with the advice, I usually feel thread of uncomfortable truth inside me. The advice makes me feel hopeful and excited about the possibility as well as darned scared or nervous.

When the advice is wrong it usually sounds really interesting and makes complete sense, but something about the advice bothers me. "It sounds good, but it doesn't smell right," a friend of mine used to say. Somehow it comes across as advice that would be really good for someone else, but not for me. Frequently, the advice seems like information that is really close to what I need to hear but not exactly it.

Because I had immediate resistance to what my husband was suggesting regarding my progress in life, I knew I needed to listen even more. This same scenario is coming up with clients of mine who are deep healing processes where they are finding nothing in conventional or alternative medicine is helping them.

Next: Why We Don't Heal

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Getting the Advice You May Not Want, But Need to Hear

Asking for real advice takes courage. It is easy to hear we are doing great. However, hearing that we may be missing something significant is a lot harder to hear. Yet, when stuck in the mud, knowing what we might be missing is far more important than what we already know.

So I asked my husband his opinion. He is such a great guy! He very kindly and emphatically told me that he had made a suggestion to me on several previous occasions, but I had not done anything with his suggestion.

The first thing I wanted to do was give him my list of reasons/excuses, but I kept my lips together and kept on listening. After explaining his case very respectfully, I told him I would seriously consider his suggestion. And I did. In fact, when I refused to allow myself to make excuses, I ceased to see why it wouldn't work and what I saw instead was how it might work.

I did run into the same stumbling blocks I had before, the same reasons I hadn't moved forward on his suggestion earlier. Only, this time, instead of giving up, I went back to my husband and shared my dilemma with him. He understood and began asking me questions to help me find my solution. We are still in the process of finding that solution, but it feels really good to be in solution mode rather than "I can't do it" mode.

What I know about this process, is once you focus on getting answers, you get them!

Next: How do you know when advice is the right advice?

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

How Do We Turn Our Blocks Into Positive Action?

I've really been looking at this question lately. Now that I know to turn off my critical mind, turning it toward positive thoughts that celebrate myself and others, I've wondered how to turn positive thoughts into positive action.

Seems simple doesn't it? "Just do it!" comes to mind. And sometimes life is as simple as that popular slogan. But sometimes, I put my foot forward and find myself stuck in the mud instead of gracefully leaping forward. Do you know what I mean?

"What is going on?" I ask myself. I'm doing my positive affirmations every day. I'm anchoring in beliefs that further my success and yet the minute I get the ball rolling, I run into one obstacle after another. "Why?" I wonder.

So I get my courage up and ask someone who is likely to have the answer I don't really want to hear, but need to hear. I ask my husband.

My husband is very honest. I have heard that is true about most spouses. Fortunately, my husband is sensitive enough to not beat me up with my own shortcomings. He has a beautiful way of encouraging me to step into my full potential.

Next time: His answer

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Turning Critisizm Into Celebration

I’m probably one of the most critical people I know. I find I must keep constant vigilance on my tendency to be critical of myself and others. The best way I have found to reverse this energy is by first being conscious of it and second–and this is the fun part–I now look for opportunities to celebrate myself and others.

When someone else is successful, I have learned to acknowledge my jealousy and then celebrate their success. The minute I switch the energy to celebration I feel good and my willingness to keep going toward my own success is renewed in seeing the wonderful reality someone else has created.

I make sure I honor myself enough to attract people who honor me. I set appropriate fees for my own work, so I have no need to resent others, while I look for skilled people whose fees I can afford without criticizing those I can't afford yet.

Celebrating the successes of others has gotten much easier. And now, with some good advice from a dear friend and coach, I’m focusing on celebrating my own successes, especially the little ones I used to ignore.

I share this personal story with you in hope that you too see the value in looking deeper at the blocks we create to our own success.........and will create more time to celebrate all of your wonderful successes!

Next: The little successes that count big time

Monday, January 22, 2007

Asking the Hard Questions

As soon as I began to ask the questions I most dreaded, I began getting answers that whipped my life into perspective.

It is so much easier to simply assume I'm a great person who would not be inclined to hold resentment against someone or some institution I didn't even know. And if I did, it would certainly be justified.

But that kind of thinking is an easy escape from looking honestly at myself.

When I started answering questions about how and when I hold resentment, I found I resent all kinds of things. I resent being interrupted with sales calls. I resent businesses who charge (in my opinion) exorbitant fees, or people who act like they have knowledge about subjects they actually know very little about. I resent people who lie to me or take advantage of me. I'm often jealous of people more successful than me. Indeed I do have resentments, which means I have multiple blocks to my own success.

Resentment likes to be fed with more reasons to resent and diverts constructive, creative energy away from attracting what I want. Resentment doesn't consider other people's points of view, nor does it embody compassion. Resentment is bad karma about to circle back on me.

Next: Turning resentment into a positive energy field

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

How Do We Get Out of Our Downward Energy Spirals?

Finding a way out had to be a conscious choice, or else I would have continued an old, nonconstructive pattern of blaming others. I began by consciously choosing to see my resentment and choosing to see how I created the scenario that in my mind justified my resentment. I then chose to abandon the drama (and the righteous high that comes with defending my ego with my need to be right).

The minute I saw how I created the entire scenario, my energy started freeing up. I chose to thank myself for getting the lesson and committed to take care of myself better next time around (and I did). I gave thanks for a husband who is so compassionate, and I thanked him in person. I then got a massage to let myself know I was sorry and to let my body and soul know I really do love it. "I'm sorry and I love you," is powerful medicine.

As I look at some new ways to bring financial prosperity in my life and further my purpose, I find myself checking my resentment patterns now. Do I resent others who are prosperous? Do I resent people who I don't think honor my work? Do I resent fees people charge? Do I resent policies of organizations I would like to do business with? The willingness to ask tough questions has brought some insightful answers about the reality I create.

Next time– Hard answers that are making a difference

Saturday, January 13, 2007

More on How We Block Ourselves

More thoughts on how I block myself. If I'm resenting and blaming someone else or resenting myself, I'm blocking my own energy. In anger and frustration, it is difficult to see the possibilities. It is difficult to take responsibility for what I have created and move on, because I'm stuck in my anger.

The feeling of resentment is a high. It is absolute righteousness and it feels good to feel better than someone else. Anger is down-right addictive. Feeding my righteousness feeds the anger which keeps me trapped and unfulfilled.

If I want success, money, healing, happiness–whatever it is and I am in resentment, that resentment blocks my success-slows me down. My slow progress confirms that my resentment is justified and I'm stuck in a downward spiral.

Next time – Getting out of the downward addictive spiral.

Friday, January 12, 2007

How Do We Block Ourselves From Getting What We Really Want?

Time for New Year’s Resolutions and one of mine is making regular entries on my site! I can’t believe how long it has been. But, I don’t believe in wasting energy on guilt–I’d rather just get to it. So………

One of my great lessons for this new year came from an incident that showed me how I block my own ability to create the reality I want. Here is what happened.

Recently, my husband and I were out snow-blowing and shoveling out our driveway after a pretty good storm. The snow was heavy, so I found I was getting tired and sore much sooner than usual. My back was aching and I was ready to quit when my husband asked me to shovel out the hot tub.

“Good idea,” I thought. “ A tub would feel really great.” Well I was nearly done when my husband opened the back door and commented on how long it had taken. I was pissed. I really didn’t expect him to leave me to finish the work.

Angrily, I scooped another shovel-full of snow and I threw my back out. I could have gotten even more pissed off, but I realized if I hadn’t been angry, I probably wouldn’t have hurt myself. It wasn’t really my husband’s fault. I hadn’t asked him to help me when he finished what he was doing, and I sure hadn’t stopped when my back started complaining.

I had created my own reality. And my resentful shoveling had induced an injury. As a result, I was not very productive for about a week. I realized loudly and clearly I had created my own obstacles to creating what I wanted.

As I begin this new year, I know three things about living my purpose: 1) I am responsible for taking care of me, 2) acting from resentment is a great way to hurt myself and ultimately doesn’t get me what I need, 3) it isn’t wise to assume others know what I need and want–ask for it.