Thursday, January 25, 2007

Getting the Advice You May Not Want, But Need to Hear

Asking for real advice takes courage. It is easy to hear we are doing great. However, hearing that we may be missing something significant is a lot harder to hear. Yet, when stuck in the mud, knowing what we might be missing is far more important than what we already know.

So I asked my husband his opinion. He is such a great guy! He very kindly and emphatically told me that he had made a suggestion to me on several previous occasions, but I had not done anything with his suggestion.

The first thing I wanted to do was give him my list of reasons/excuses, but I kept my lips together and kept on listening. After explaining his case very respectfully, I told him I would seriously consider his suggestion. And I did. In fact, when I refused to allow myself to make excuses, I ceased to see why it wouldn't work and what I saw instead was how it might work.

I did run into the same stumbling blocks I had before, the same reasons I hadn't moved forward on his suggestion earlier. Only, this time, instead of giving up, I went back to my husband and shared my dilemma with him. He understood and began asking me questions to help me find my solution. We are still in the process of finding that solution, but it feels really good to be in solution mode rather than "I can't do it" mode.

What I know about this process, is once you focus on getting answers, you get them!

Next: How do you know when advice is the right advice?