Friday, May 09, 2008
Many years ago, my mother left this earth after a long struggle with cancer. In truth, it was a relief to know she was no longer in pain. She deserved her freedom.
We were not very close while she was alive. Oh, we loved each other. We just never had that special appreciation of each other some daughters and mothers seem to have with each other. Her choices didn't make much sense to me, and, it seemed, my choices didn't make sense to her.
About a year after she crossed over, I truly felt the loss of her. Initially, I felt so much relief that I didn't feel the full impact of loosing her. It was on the anniversary of her death that I truly felt the loss of her goodness here. It was amazing to me that as a grown woman, I could still long to be held by my mother, the way she used to hold me as a little girl. But I did and she wasn't there to do it.
Nature became a place in which to console myself as I took long walks reflecting on the nature of what it means to be mother and daughter. It was then, as I cried, and the rain fell, I could feel the empathy of Mother Earth. As I laid in the grass, I felt the Mother's tiny green fingers tickling me. When I stood, looking up into the trees, I felt the warm wind caress my face.
There she was. My Mother. Her body might be different and her means of affection her own, yet I found comfort in Mother Earth. Her touch was as dear to me as my human mother's touch so many years ago.
I have since come to understand we sometimes seek affection in ways that can't be delivered. My human mother could not reach out and hug me physically any more. To yearn for that placed a limit on what comfort I could receive. But Mother Earth could give me the comfort I longed for. And since then, to my delight, my human mother has come to me in many dreams, and we now appreciate each other in ways neither of us experienced here on earth.
The sacred nature of Mother is part of my daily life now. I hear her in the laughter of my daughter as she talks about the antics of her children. I see her in the smiles of my granddaughters who dream of being mothers one day. I recognize her in any woman who genuinely cares about another. I see her strong and beautiful in the body of Mother Earth. And I know her sacred touch through the soft petals of flowers, the bark of her trees, the shade of her leafy limbs—and all the sentient nature of this planet—our Mother.
To read a lovely prayer to Mother Earth spoken by Jesus at the Sermon on the Mount, go here now: http://newdreamfoundation.com/forums/index.php/topic,99.msg109.html#msg109