Thursday, August 28, 2008

How Can Needs Pull Us Away From Our Purpose?

Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Lately, I've been more aware of the ways I can distract myself from what I am really here to do. At the same time I am noticing the ways people I work with distract themselves from what they are here to do. It is so darned easy to get sucked into the need to be needed, or the need to succeed, and completely get absorbed into a drama rather than fulfilling our purpose.

My challenge is in being distracted by people who seem to be in need of emotional support. It is too easy to let their needs take priority in my life. What I have realized is that helping someone else deal with their emotional fire, allows me to feel needed, which in turn provides me with a temporary sense of meaning and fulfillment, but it is only temporary, because that is not my true work.

How do I know it is not my true work? When I finish I feel good for having helped someone else, but minutes later I'm feeling guilty because I have not made progress toward my own dreams. In reflection, I know I could have spent much less time and given much less energy, encouraging them succinctly, yet compassionately to step into more of their own power. In essence, I gave more than they needed, and I know it. My excessive giving easily creates a dependency on me for answers and disempowers them in fulfilling their own purposes. I have kept the wheel of life out of balance by giving more than they needed. I know the same out of balance nature would be true if I gave too little, and for me personally, the individual I give too little to is me.

I have been observing this with mothers, and I know I can easily slip into this tendency with my adopted daughter and grandchildren. It is just too easy as a mother to think we need to do more for our children than is truly appropriate. How are our children supposed to spread their wings and fulfill their purposes if we are trying to do it for them? How will they ever learn to overcome their fears and triumph in their own spiritual freedom and relationship with the Divine if we are constantly trying to soften their lessons?

I also notice that some of my women friends are hiding their spirituality or not practicing their spiritual beliefs, or fulfilling their true purpose because their husband or partner wouldn't like it. I can't help but wonder how this benefits anyone, when we turn our partners into gods, whose beliefs are more important than fulfilling the promises we made to Divine Source? How do we become our full selves when we give our power over to men or to our fear of being rejected? Isn't something seriously out of balance when we would rather feel needed by a man for what he wants us to be than experience the fulfillment of living our true spiritual passion and purpose? And if we don't have the courage to fulfill our own purposes, how will we ever bring balance to the planet?

With male friends, I notice that the need to make money, be successful, and provide can absorb them in a need to suceed that is not always in alignment with their purposes. Grinding away at jobs they hate, working excessive hours, allowing themselves to be taken advantage of—all in the name of I must provide, I need to be successful, I need more money to live the life I want.......all the while complaining and this any way to live? How is suffering today for tomorrow's potential happiness living in the Divine power of now?

And too many of my male friends are so caught up in the drive for success—practical, concrete action in the world, they won't avail themselves of the incredible spiritual power living within their reach if they would only get still for a while; if only they would have the courage to open the mystical doorways of meditation, ceremony, and quests. Those spiritual insights are the very awarenesses that would catapult their true success in recognizing and fulfilling their Divine purposes. What is the value of material success if it costs in misery today? How does a man's misery and bitterness in his reach for success make the world a better place?

The need to be needed and the need to succeed are energies that on the surface can look as though we are doing such important work. But when we look deeper, they are often actually keeping us from the true work we are here to do. We feel the the fulfillment of our need to be needed when we are in the true service we have come here to offer. We experience the fulfillment of success when we are making the difference we came here to make. And when we are in the flow of being true to ourselves, all else comes — money, influence, happiness, right relationship, all comes because we are alive and vital, living our true lives. We attract our deepest desires because we are living the best path to our fulfillment.

If fulfillment of your purpose can be facilitated through broad-based spiritual ministry or ceremonies for women, our Apprenticeship Programs for Spiritual Ministry and Women Keepers of the Water Ceremonies begin on September 1st. For more information, visit the home page of our web-site and scroll to the end of the page.