Friday, July 24, 2009
I have never before written this story, but Misa asked me to do so in hopes it will in some way inspire others. I must say at the onset that each of us experience miracles of Spirit in our own unique way and I hope that you not compare or measure what took place with me to your own experiences.
In July of 1991, my dear friend Anne Card and Jim Morbey had invited Shield and Sharula Dux to do a workshop in our town of Clear Lake, California. On the second day of the workshop we were doing a group regression. This was very difficult for me to do with so many in one room and so many loud voices screaming out their parental aversions they had regressed to. At one point, I allowed myself to block all of that out and focus only on my own breath. As I allowed this process to unfold and I was able to relax into it, all of a sudden my entire body began to tingle. Then in less than a blink of an eye, my being was fully embraced with an immeasurable amount of Love. The only thing I could do was surrender to it, feel and be in the embodiment of this Grace.
I know there were tears flowing down my cheek and at one point I felt Shield at my head and he was whispering, “Just keep breathing, just keep breathing into it.” In the midst of this I realized this was the Mother holding me and embracing me in all the Love that She is.
In the middle of all the bliss, I heard the tiniest voice saying, “You are going to Egypt.” It was so tiny I almost missed it.. When we were called back to the group it took me a bit to awaken out of this extremely blessed and humbling experience. As I did, the man laying next to me surprised me as he said, “I am so sorry, but I peeked and you were so beautiful.” This really took me aback, because I was so surprised that anything could be seen from the outside, but he went on and on about it.
We were then asked to share our experience with the group. When it came to my turn, all I could share was the Love that filled every particle of my being and momentarily that small voice was forgotten. As others were taking their turn sharing, I remembered it and rudely interrupted and blurted it out--that I was going to Egypt.
The reason this was relevant was that in three weeks from that date, Shield and Sharula were leading a group to Egypt. I had been expressing to Spirit I would love to go on the trip but dismissed it and let it go because there was no way I could afford it. At the time, I was a single mother of three sons (one grown and out of the house and two still at home, ages 9 and 11). I had to borrow the money to even attend the workshop. Clear Lake was a very financially depressed town to live in and at that time I was doing nails with a very unstable income because nails were the first to go when finances got slim.
When I blurted out that I was going to Egypt, Shield said to me, "Okay, from this moment on take every step, every action and every thought in knowing you are going. Have complete Faith and Trust in that voice and don't let anything or anyone do anything to shake that. Get your passport, send the deposit and get everything in order in your life in preparation for your trip." Not allowing myself a moment of doubt to flood in, my answer to him was, “Okay!”
My cousin Diane was visiting for the weekend and was also taking the workshop with us, so when the day was over and we were leaving I said to her, “Holy shit, I need a drink.” So we found the closest bar and just sat there looking at each other in shock and with cow eyes, and as it all began to settle down, we slowly starting talking about it. She was looking at me and we were both in tears with many emotions, a fear of the unknown, and, at that point of my evolution, not really understanding what just took place. Still, I told her I was going for it.
When I got home I wrote on my calendar in big bold letters, blocking that 14 days: “EGYPT.” That night I sat down with my two sons, Anthony and Andrew, and told them what was going on. As you can imagine, their eyes were filled with tears big as saucers but they had lived through many other out-of-the-norm things that had taken place in my life and they had enough trust in me; they believed me. From that moment on they were so excited they shared it with their friends or whoever came over the house, with full, undeniable belief that I was going to Egypt.
There were only three weeks until the trip and I had no idea how it was all going to transpire but here are the daily events as they began to unfold:
A week before the workshop, I had sent a request to cash out the balance of my 401K with Sears. At that time I only had about $2,000 left and Monday, the day after the workshop, it was in my mailbox. No hassle, no fighting them for it--nothing--it was just there. So after I paid all my bills and everything else that needed to be taken care of, I had just enough for my passport, my round-trip flight to LA and the exact amount for the deposit that was needed for the trip. I called the girl at the Spirit Travel Agency they were using and put the deposit in the mail.
The next day a psychic friend of mine, Susan, came over for a visit and when I told her what was going on she did a reading on it to see if she could see where the money was going to come from. She told me that, yes, I was going and someone I least expected would be giving me the money. She also suggested I write everything down that I needed and put it on my altar. I had never left the country before. I really had no idea what I would need for spending money. So in my letter I put the amount of $2,600, the balance of the trip, and added $1,000 for spending money, put it in an envelope, sealed it and placed it on my altar.
I also quit my job in the salon that day and brought my nail business home. I can't remember why I decided to just quit instead of taking time off, but at the time it really felt like it was what I was supposed to do. On Wednesday, a client, Joan, who had also taken the workshop, came to the house to get her nails done. After I finished, she wrote me a check for the price of her nails and handed me a second check for $200. As she handed it to me she said, “Here-- this is for your trip to Egypt.” Well,,you can imagine it took my breath away as I was witnessing the magic of what was unfolding in the mist--Trust and Faith.
On Thursday another friend, Linda, who also took the workshop, called and asked if she could come over to help her daughter learn to control her naturally curly hair. I always bought fresh cows' milk from her, which she sold to bring in much-needed extra money to help her solely support her three teenagers. I had not expected nor asked for anything for helping her daughter with her hair but she brought a couple gallons of milk and handed me a check for $35. I was strong in wanting to refuse it but she insisted, saying, “Please take this, because you are going to Egypt for all of us.”
At this point I had $235 and it was two weeks before it was time to go. I also went ahead and made all the arrangements for my ex-husband to take the boys and the boy next door was going to take care of my dog while I would be gone.
Friday night my mother paid for myself, Anthony and Andrew to fly down to San Diego for my oldest son Rod’s graduation from Navy boot camp. While I was there I was thinking about what Susan had told me and thought, "Well, my mother would be the absolute most unlikely person on this planet to give me any money for this trip," so I made sure I found some time and told her about the whole thing. She reacted in her normal way by changing the subject and refusing to talk about it, so I let it go. Looking back on it now I guess I thought that some miraculous intervention or a lightning bolt would strike her consciousness and she would come through.
Well, that’s not exactly what happened! On the flight home I tried again to talk about it and she said we would think about it. Monday afternoon I received a call from my brother and he asked me what the heck I asked Mom about. He told me she was going from A to Z in her phone book telling everyone that they were not to give me any money because I belonged to a cult and they would never get their money back. Well, I guess no lightning bolt hit her!
The following week I went to San Francisco and got a rush passport. I stayed overnight at my cousin Denise's and asked her to invite some of my good friends I still had from high school to meet us for lunch so I could let them know what was going on. As I explained my story, they all looked at me with the blankest looks you could have ever imagined. That night when I arrived home and unpacked there was an envelope from my cousin with $50 and a note saying she wished she could do more. Her support touched my heart so much.
The rest of the week I proceeded to move forward in preparation for the trip. On Sunday I went over to a friend Kathie's house for a little gathering she was having and, of course, shared the story with all of them. It is always such an interesting experience sharing things like this with people who have never stepped on a spiritual path. There was a San Francisco Examiner Sunday newspaper on the counter and they always had the best horoscopes. My friend Tanya picked it up and started reading everyone's birth signs for the week. Well, can you believe it--it was right there under my sign--something about taking a trip to Egypt! If you could have seen their faces--it was priceless. Kathie just looked at me and said, “If this happens and you go to Egypt, I will become a believer!!!” At that point I could see a lot of fear in everyone's eyes, so I dropped the subject.
By then, it was Monday...I had $285 and I was leaving in five days. Another friend. Victoria, came up to visit from the Bay area and she really surprised me with her reaction. She had been on the spiritual path for at least five years--she got angry at me and blurted out, “What if it doesn't happen?” She was concerned about what everyone would think of me telling this story and then it not happening. I turned to her and said, “Victoria, there is no room for ‘What If.’ I know in every part of who I am that I am leaving for Egypt Saturday morning. I just don't know how it is going to happen yet."
On Tuesday night I had a meltdown. My sons were already with their father, my passport and my confirmation for the plane tickets to LA arrived and I was all set--except I only had $285. I paced up and down my hallway yelling at God… “Okay,” I said, “I have everything all set. I have tried to help you and share this story with as many people as I could think of. I just don't know what else I can do! I GIVE UP!!!”
The next day I was at Longs Drug store buying film and I happened to be walking through the greeting card section. Suddenly I felt like I hit a brick wall and I had to stop in my tracks--I couldn't walk any further. I turned toward the cards and there were two cards sticking up facing me. One said in two-inch letters, “TRUST HIM” and the second one said, “Dreams Really Do Come True if you only Believe.” So humbly I picked those cards up and bought them along with my film.
Thursday--just two days before I was to leave--my friends Asa and Sandra arrived. They were going to be holding a workshop at my house that weekend after I left. I was standing there greeting Asa and I noticed he had an Egyptian icon hanging from his neck. I remarked how beautiful it was and he asked me how things were coming along for my trip. I told him I still knew I was going but just didn't know how. I told him that I still needed $3,600 and I also told him I had the strongest feeling that if the bulk of it came in, the rest would come flying in.
A little while later I came out of my bedroom to find him sitting at my dining room table, with Sandra doing muscle testing on him. When they finished he opened his eyes and said to me, “You have 2,000 dollars.” He left my house went to the bank and came back and handed me $2,000. Well, as you can guess, I was a tad excited as I was witnessing what was unfolding. That night as people were coming to the preview evening for the weekend workshop, I was telling everyone.
Friday morning the workshop was to begin and there are no words to describe what transpired at that point. As people started pouring in my house they began handing me money--a little from one person, more from someone else. I felt like I was floating on clouds as my excitement mounted.
My friend Joan was also coming back to have her nails done.. She was the one who had given me $200 already. When I finished, she wrote me another check for $500! I tried to refuse it but she said, "No, you need spending money,” and insisted that I take it. I called the travel company and told them I would have to bring them a cashier's check for the balance when I met them at the LA Airport. The lady was very surprised at my call and confused as to why they hadn’t deleted my name from the list because it was way over the time the balance needed to be in.
Saturday morning I left the house at 5:00 AM with a cashier's check of $2,600 and traveler's checks for $1,000--exactly what was stated in the sealed envelope on my altar. How I drove safely to my father's house in Petaluma to catch a shuttle to SFO, I will never know. I was in such an altered state, still reeling from all that took place, I know it was not me driving on that windey mountain road. I must add that through all that had transpired in those three weeks there is one moment that I will never forget. It was my father’s face as he waved goodbye to me as the shuttle was leaving, with a look of such pride and unconditional love pouring out of him.
The experiences that took place on the trip is another incredible story in itself, but through it all, the journey of getting there was the most amazing journey of all. I was living in a total state of gratitude and bliss throughout the whole trip and beyond.
I would also like to share something one of my first spiritual teachers shared with us back in 1986. One evening she was asked to share how things happened that created the experiences she was sharing with us. She told us that she would not share that part because it would only set up expectations that would open the door for us to judge and possibly feel “less than” if our experiences were not exactly like hers. So in remembering those very wise words, I ask you to please allow all that is meant to be yours in whatever manner it is to come your way. And remember that it is unique to you alone--not better than, not less than--but simply your own.
There are many more stories I could share with you that have since transpired with me along these lines. But all I would like to add right now is, it is all a matter of Asking, of Believing, of Trust and of Letting Go. The words, “Ask and you hhall receive,” is truly not a cliché--it is how it was all meant to be. Also, the words, “Be careful what you ask for,” is not a cliché--so I invite you to be conscious of your words-- they are more powerful then you can imagine.
There Are Only Blessings In Love
Dedicated to the Sanctuary of the Heart