The Power of Holding for Inner and Outer Peace
We talk about gratitude and peace during our holiday season. And yet, for many of us it is the most stressful season.
Holidays have a way of bringing out the best and the worst in us. It is the one time of year we seem to have more to do and no more time in which to do it all.
Many of us gather with family members we might not ordinarily socialize with. For many of us, there is at least one family member we just don’t get. In fact, they might even drive us nuts.
When you are with this person, you might feel like you are being drained of your power. Perhaps your feelings of “not being good enough” really come up with this individual.
A part of you wants to withdraw from this person. A part of you might want to fight, while still another part of you wants to control him or her. Another part of you longs to experience peace with this person. If you don’t join the family for the holidays, a part of your soul is going to feel left out in the cold. So what do you do?
Sacred Feminine energy gives us a way to be with this conundrum. You are not going to change the other family member, so that leaves you with the only place in which you have any real control—within you.
Now, I’m not suggesting that there is anything wrong with you that you need to change. Yet, if the deeper longing for peace is going to become reality, it is your inspiration that is needed.
Consider taking your feelings about this person into a quiet meditation of compassion. Hold your sorrow, anger, hope—whatever feelings arise when you think of this person. You might now have a name for the feelings(s), and that is all right. What you are feeling, for this meditation is more important than its name.
Amazingly, we have the capacity to hold two or more feelings at one time, and that includes the angst you feel in regard to this person along with your loving compassion—for yourself. Hold your difficult feelings, until you are at peace.
Now, if and only if, this person’s spirit allows, offer to hold his or her feelings regarding your relationship. Hold his or her feelings in your compassion until all that remains is peace.
If this person’s spirit does not allow you to hold him or her, just holding your own feelings will make a difference, because the energetic current between the two of you shifts as a result of calm you experience.
When you engage this individual in person and you become triggered, try responding with your compassion. Quietly hold the feelings this person sets off in your heart and compassion, until you feel peaceful inside.
You might notice that the way you respond to this family member changes simply because you are connecting with them with a peaceful heart. As a result, you might see his or her responses to you change.
Of course, the more you practice this Holding before you encounter this individual, the more likely you will be to respond with compassion rather than your anger, need to control, or desire to withdraw.
The more you practice Holding, the greater your chance for experiencing a pleasant holiday.
You can also use the Holding Meditation when you begin to feel stressed out about everything you feel you have to get done over the Holidays. Before you rush out the door, or make your to-do-list, consider taking a few moments to hold your stressful feelings compassion.
It only takes about 10-20 minutes to feel a peaceful shift, particularly if you tell your busy mind to focus on compassion for just a few minutes. Stay in The Holding until you feel at peace. Here is a guided meditation for you. Just follow the first step of the Creation Meditation to experience The Holding: Version: http://www.newdreamfoundation.com/forums/index.php?topic=75.0
Then, when you make your list or head out the door, your state of peace will help you recognize what most needs to be done and in what order. You are more likely to see a stress-free way to get done what is most important and be able to let the rest go.
Perhaps this year, a few more of us will decide to make this year’s holiday season a peaceful one. And Holding in the Sacred Feminine arms of compassion can carry you into a state of inner peace that is reflected in your outer world.